I just made out with a guy for $7.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
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She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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