I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I need to calm my uterus...
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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