All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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