roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
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I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
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As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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