I got chris browned last night
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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