I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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