dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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