can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Still dying that you shit outside
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize