ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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