does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize