Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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