Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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