We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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