I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize