I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
and you fell through a lawn chair
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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