Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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