covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
she smelled like a LAN party
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
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I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
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You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
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