I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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