I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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