just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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