Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize