The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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