you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize