it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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