just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
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Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
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This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
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