Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
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i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
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Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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