Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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