Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
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