i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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