white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
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Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
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she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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