I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
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I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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