She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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