No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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