Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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