if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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