I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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