I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize