definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
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I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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