good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
My penis needs a shock collar
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize