My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i wish my penis had a tongue
I just googled if crying burns calories
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Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
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That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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