i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize