Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
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you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
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Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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