let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
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And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
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Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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