I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize