I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize