Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
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Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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