If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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