You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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