I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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