You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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