Only a mothe r could love this liver
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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